Flying on 9/11 and staring at this piece of headrest cover cum marketing flyer during the two hour flight, I realized that it has been 18 years since Jesus changed my life. I still remember where I was, what I was doing, why I was doing it, who I was at that time and what happened to me that night. I wanted to write it down so that I would be reminded of all that and be thankful to Jesus for the Cross and His intervention in my life.
What I was doing
Well, I was preparing to preach a sermon at the chapel service in my college. This evangelical chapel service was conducted by our seniors, the final year students who took care to visit our hostel every Sunday, traveling very far. They spent their free time providing spiritual nourishment for students who were in the hostel (back in those days where I studied, we were not allowed to go out of the hostel except for one day in a month). Once those seniors graduated, no one had come forward to continue conducting those chapel services from week to week. So a bunch of first year students – having just entered their second year – had to start doing it, encouraged by those seniors. They were zealous for the Lord and took up that noble responsibility. They did it for the first time on the 23rd of July 2006. It is a Sunday I will never forget. I watched my batchmates conduct the service. Rojin and Samuel Jacob led the singing and a sweet chubby fellow by the name Thomas preached from the Bible. To be fair, I don’t remember what Thomas preached but, what happened afterward would change my life – Thomas came straight to me after the service and asked me if I would preach next Sunday.
Why I was doing it
Appearing to be hesitant, I agreed. Deep inside, I thought that this would be a good opportunity to acquaint myself with public speaking one more time before auditioning for the college orientation program that was coming up.
I still don’t know why of all people in the world, he would ask me to preach. I had had a fairly conservative upbringing but was never regular to church during my early teens. I hated boring church services and never bothered to attend. For me, attending church was a waste of time and any form of spirituality was not appealing. I was not an atheist but the traditional church setup was boring, meaningless and drove me away from everything associated with Christian faith. However the chapel services were short and seemed to make more sense. Maybe because students of similar age were involved, I don’t know. But having been away from home for the first time in my life for over an year, the chapel services had an effect on me. I began to feel Sunday after Sunday that my hatred for church was disappearing. I was being drawn in by something that was strange, filling me with a peace and calmness I had never known before but desperately needed during those days away from home.
All these aside, I loved public speaking and I was up for Thomas’ offer. And I chose a simple topic to start with – Faith. Thinking that I must read something to preach anything about faith at all, I started reading Romans on Monday. NIV Bible. Dad had sent me a Gaither Homecoming music video and I was listening to it while reading. Just for that one week, I decided to be “spiritual”. I faithfully set aside my 40 gigs of secular music collection.
What happened to me
While I was reading, I realised that I was beginning to understand something. Two or three days passed by. On Thursday night probably, halfway through 1 Corinthians, the song playing on my headphones caught my attention. It is well with my soul, goes the chorus. The lines, “My sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the Cross, and I bear it no more” gripped my heart. I paused, rewinded and listened to those lines again and again. The next thing I knew was that I was weeping. It was almost midnight and my three roommates were fast asleep. In the midst of my tears, I stopped reading, shut down my computer or not I don’t remember but, I went to bed sobbing and fell asleep. I woke up the next morning (Friday?) with such great overwhelming joy I had never known before in my life. The realization of Jesus being real was exceedingly powerful and full of life and energy. That very evening, I was carrying my Bible to the study hall and started talking about it to the very first person I met outside the hall. I still remember the blank look on his face as if to say, “What is this guy talking about?” I don’t remember my exact conversation with him but I remember lifting up my Bible in front of him, hanging it between my thumb and other fingers and uttering these words, “All this is real, you know?”
What happened that night is not something that hit me and then left me. It has changed the course of my life steadily – swiftly at times, slowly at times, powerfully at times, gently at times, painfully at times, joyfully at times, but never stopping at all. I know now that it cannot be stopped. I graduated three years later with a degree in Computer Science and went on to seek jobs, finally landing where I am currently. I still love computers and coding. Jesus did not change what I did but His words have altered my life wholly without question. I have a different set of priorities. Aspects of life which would have excited me years ago don’t evoke the same emotions in me today. Christ has constantly pursued me and taught me that eternity is more important than this life, transforming me for the better. The singular pursuit of God alone more than any other passion or purpose has defined my life ever since. It has been 18 years now. How time flies.
Ink & Truth 